Postnatal Nightmares

What no one tells you....

Disclaimer: This post is strictly for women.... Men definitly dont want to read about what happens after birth

Ok So pregnancy- its that glowing, happy time of life when you can eat whatever you crave, savor your acne free skin, and thick luscious hair, and you have the courage to tell people what you think when they mention your large tummy. 

There are Tons of books about pregnancy and child birth, lots of random people's advice on what to do and not to do. But no one talks about the weird stuff that happens after your baby is born..... the postnatal nightmares! Here are some that i have heard of or have personally gone through. So if your about to have a baby this should give you a heads up, and if you already had your baby you can laugh with me!

1. Pooping

OK let me tell you i NEVER expected this to be any different after i had baby J. Not only is it difficult to get the business done, but the whole process of pushing, and such just feels so.... wrong and uncomfortable!  I was afraid to do it because i didn't want to tear my stitches or hemorrhage (paranoid!). i was uncomfortable and frustrated because NO ONE, not even the doctors told me it would be like that. Thankfully that feeling only lasts a few days, and apple or prune juice can help things move along easier.

2. Cravings

I didn't have cravings during my pregnancy; but let me tell ya, i had them after!!! Yup you read that right, AFTER! I craved apple juice, cake, cookies, french fries, and DQ Blizzards! healthy right?! i was not expecting to LOVE some things i never used to, let alone crave them constantly!!! Weird right? My son is almost a year old and i still crave sweets, which is NOT helpful when i'm trying to loose weight!

3. Hair loss

Lets just start by saying i lost more hair than my cat sheds. When i vacuumed MY hair clogged the bristles, and the shower wall and my pillows were always covered in my hair! I felt like i was going bald!!! Thankfully it grows back, but then you have to deal with those stubborn baby hairs! You just cant win!!

4. Acne

When i was pregnant i had the best skin of my life!!! i never got pimples, my skin didn't feel dry like it usually does, and i felt confident enough that i didn't even wear foundation! that lasted until the day after i had baby J. Then my skin decided it had enough and wanted to be rebellious, so it's back to foundation and concealer for me!

5. Intimacy 

Lets be quick and brief.  Didn't think about it, didn't want it, and that feeling lasted for 5 moths!!!!

Enough said...

6. Peeing 

Not only will you pee more than you did before you got pregnant, you also wont be able to hold it like you used to. Sneezing, coughing, and even laughing will be something you will try your very hardest to avoid! Let's put it this way, You wont be making fun of your mom for holding her legs together when she sneezes anymore, because you will be doing the EXACT SAME THING. 

7. Style

If you can fit into your pre-pregnancy clothes after you give birth, then that is AWESOME! i was able to, however, i didn't want to wear those clothes because after i became a mom my style completely changed, and i'm still trying to figure out what i feel comfortable in. There is just something about becoming a mom that makes you think of things in a whole new light, and for me it was definitely my style. 

8. Sleep

This one is probably an obvious one, but I'm going to say it anyways. You wont get hardly any sleep, you will thrive off coffee, and you might even do things that you won't remember. Like waking up in the night and turning the coffee pot on, or opening the blinds, or replying to a text message that you don't even remember getting. Yes sleep will be a very foreign idea for a while!

9. Memory

Lets just say you wont have one. You will forget EVERYTHING, and it will drive you nuts! But try as you may, nothing will help it get better, because Hey your a mom now, and apparently our brains turn to mush after we have kids. 

10. Love

Whatever you thought love was, is nothing to what it becomes after you hold your baby for the first time. You will do ANYTHING for this baby, and even on those hard days when they drive you nuts, just one look at them and your heart just melts. you fall in love over and over again with your little baby and you will always want to give them the best that you can. 

So... with all of that said, GOOD LUCK in your mom adventure, because its the biggest adventure you will EVER go on!!!

Until next time,

Hannah